So I’m watching the Virginia Tech – Boston College game tonight, amazed at just how much the Hokies were screwing up. They brought to mind that Dave Chapell skit – Man, the Hokies are f****ing up! But my thoughts on that topic were completely diverted by a second-half piece of reporting by sideline cupcake Erin Andrews. Now, normally Ms. Andrews achieves this sort of attention-grabbing by simply, well, being there. She’s a fine looking lady! But no, this time it was her unforgettable exchange with the parents of BC walk-on kicker Steve Aponavicius (a very cool story by the way. The dude’s never played a single game of college or high school football and there he was handling the Eagles’ kicking duties in a big conference game on national TV).
The exchange went like this (I’ll insert my comments where I feel some snark is warranted):
Andrews: Steve Aponavicius has been the story tonight. The walk-on kicker getting his start and what a night he’s had. Two PATs, one field goal [uh oh, we’re already in trouble. She has it exactly backwards, which is surprising since he kicked his second FG just seconds earlier to give BC 13 points. But hey, we all make mistakes. Let’s go on.] and like Kirk Herbstreit said, some great kickoffs [I’ll let this one go as a difference of opinion, but to me, landing balls on the 12 yardline isn’t terribly great, but hey Kirk said it, not Erin, right?]. Mom and Dad joining me right now. I know you drove down from Pennsylvania tonight [evidently they went the long way to Boston] What was your nerves like in the car? [Oh boy. Well, it is an irregular verb. And hey, our President has a hard time with that one too, and you know, he’s the President!] How were you doing in the car tonight?
Mom and Dad: some sort of muttering …
Andrews: And Dad, I know your son had played some football before, [wait a minute! We’ve been hearing over and over tonight about how this is his first organized game ever! Is she talking about pick-up two-hand touch in the neighborhood cul-de-sac?] but how are you doing pregame? [That twist of tense just confused me. Evidently, I wasn’t the only one, as Mr. Aponavicius seemed to have no idea how to answer her. He was just silent for seconds before muttering something.]
Dad: muttering
Andrews: (later) The team has nicknamed your son Sid Vicious. Do you have any idea who that is?
Mom: No
Dad: something about how he’d heard the name a long time ago
[Go on Erin – fill them in. Just who is this Sid Vicious that all the kids are talking about?]
Andrews: Punk rock band.
So, there you have it. Sid Vicious is a punk rock band and Erin Andrews is an idiot.
But in her defense …